Helena’s Story
I'm a proud mom of a 5-year-old boy and a 9-month-old baby girl. With my first child, and against all expectations because I had to supplement since the first days (I used an SNS) I was able to breastfeed until he was 2 years old. I read a lot, I studied a lot, I spent the days nursing him with no hours limited and I managed to eliminate the supplement when he started solid meals. And I've never really understood the reason why I had such a struggle...
With my second new pregnancy, I was confident that the journey would go well and I was very excited! I even noticed colostrum starting at 30 weeks pregnant and my breasts were a little bit bigger (which didn't happen in the first pregnancy) but again I found myself needing to supplement at the end of the day after a few days. My milk coming in was never the 'overwhelming' event I read about. How I wished it was!
I used compressions, tried the best latch possible, saw a lactation consultant, sometimes went three times to each breast alternately and even then, it was not enough. It may seem stupid, but when I read stories of engorged and overproducing breasts, I wished that was my case (I still do!).
Then, I found information about tubular breasts (which I think is my case) and IGT. I had an ultrasound and the result was normal, but after that I came to understand the primary problem doesn't necessarily appear in ultrasound. Since puberty I had been embarrassed about my breast shape. I used to kid around saying that I didn't mind if they were little, all I wanted was a “normal” shape and two similar breasts. And after a few years, the subject was haunting me again. Every time I had to make a bottle, tears came out of my eyes. I felt like a failure, like a bad mom.
As time has gone by, I've started to try to accept it (but never completely have). After introducing solids I've managed to eliminate formula, but I can say that one of my biggest sorrows in life is not being able to fully provide my two babies.
“I wish someone had told me that this is a situation you really can't control. You have to accept and try to discover your own definition of success. And that you are not less of a mother and women because IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!”
— Helena Peixoto
How old was your baby when you realized you had low milk supply? What concerns led you to learn this?
With the first, I think I never truly acknowledged it. With my second, maybe when she was about a month.
What were some of your goals when you first started your breastfeeding journey? How did these goals shift throughout the time you were lactating?
I've dreamed with an EBF relationship. And with my second baby the shock was bigger, also because my expectations were bigger.
What advice were you given, if any, to increase your supply? By whom?
I think I’ve tried it all! Goat’s rue, black seed oil, domperidone, sunflower lecithin, moringa....you name it. I was advised by a consultant, who did not diagnose me with IGT.
Did you feel supported by your medical providers? Why or why not?
Not really. I went for help, I've searched for specialists and one of them squeezed my breasts, and once milk came out, she said, “Oh, you have plenty of milk, it’s the latch that needs improvement.” That made me feel even worse.
Is there any support from people other than medical providers (e.g. lactation consultants, family, friends, peers) that you wish you had gotten during your low supply journey?
I actually didn't share my situation with almost anyone because I thought they wouldn't understand.
Did you feel prepared for the possibility of low milk supply? Why or why not?
Not at all.
What is one thing that you would like all medical and lactation professionals to know about chronic low milk supply?
That it is real. That it makes us suffer like hell. And that it needs support!
What is one thing about your low milk supply experience that makes you proud?
Being able to overcome all the nightmare and breastfeed my son until 25 months and still breastfeeding my daughter at 9 months old – and hopefully for longer!