At the beginning (which I regret somewhat), I was clueless about breastfeeding, when milk comes in, what a good latch is, bottle feeding, tongue ties and their effects. I’d heard about low milk supply being a problem for people with Hashimoto’s disease and so it was a concern for me. I’d had a hard time getting my thyroid under control and was so scared about miscarrying that I didn’t want to “interfere” with my meds too much if baby was doing well in all the growth scans, etc.

I didn’t do any research about formula or bottle feeding, as I didn’t want anything to negatively influence my determination to breastfeed. From everything I’d heard, breastfeeding was difficult but all eventually worked out in the end.

My pregnancy and birth were all straightforward and uncomplicated. I’m so grateful for that, but what came once my baby was born was not so much fun! I intentionally didn’t take any birth pain control so that I could get her to latch on straight after birth and have the magical golden hour. I thought as soon as my baby was on my boob (although it hurt) that was it!

In the hospital my daughter was constantly on my breast and it was painful. I didn’t realize that my milk hadn’t come in and I didn’t know why she was constantly crying. She was sick and we were told this was because she swallowed too much amniotic fluid and we should supplement with formula. I was so against this but gave in as it was being spoon fed. No told me that her latch was poor and there was no milk coming out.

On Day 4 we were sent home. That night, my daughter was uncontrollably crying. We called the midwife and she advised me to give a bottle. My daughter was dehydrated. I felt so bad and like such a failure. I couldn’t stop crying. Milk was dribbling out of the bottle and my daughter was so tired, falling asleep on the bottle but then waking up soon after screaming again. We were told it was because she was getting overstimulated, that I might not be offering her enough milk from the bottle etc.

On Day 6 I got a private lactation consultant on board. She was encouraging to some degree. She got me started on the Medela Symphony pump. I had zero clue about pumping eight times a day, flange sizes, etc., etc. But this started my pumping journey, and although I persevered with latching, it never seemed to last very long. I had to succumb to nighttime nursing, pumping around the clock and bottle feeding. I still feel terrible that I had to give my daughter cow’s milk formula, but I’m also super grateful that this option exists.

Fast forwarding – something still didn’t sit right with regards to her latch and she was not putting on weight. Everyone kept saying my daughter was just skinny and that was OK. Well, at seven months we discovered her ties and managed to get them lasered. She became much better at drinking from a bottle, but unfortunately, she refused the breast from five months onward. I still feel sad about that!

 How old was your baby when you realized you had low milk supply? What concerns led you to learn this?

A few days old. I had no milk coming in, she was not gaining weight and was constantly crying and regularly experiencing colic.

What were some of your goals when you first started your breastfeeding journey? How did these goals shift throughout the time you were lactating?

Initially I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, at least for one year and for as long as possible. Then my goal was to pump as much as possible for as long as possible. I am still pumping, but I think I will stop when she turns one.

What advice were you given, if any, to increase your supply? By whom?

To take fenugreek and goat’s rue and eat and drink as much as possible. Apart from making me gain weight, this did nothing. My gynae suggested taking domperidone. I’m so glad I got help from the IGT and Low Milk Supply Group and saw that my prolactin wasn’t low before doing this. She had refused to test my levels and I politely declined her advice knowing that it likely wouldn’t work for me because my prolactin levels were normal.

Did you feel supported by your medical providers? Why or why not?

No. No one believed me that tongue ties influenced my daughter’s breastfeeding journey (apart from the doctor who performed the laser surgery). My midwife suggested using a pacifier, which I wish we’d delayed. Everyone thought that I wasn’t pumping enough and that was why I wasn’t getting enough milk – not that there was possibly some medical reason. My gynae didn’t want to run the necessary tests, but fortunately my husband allowed me to spend (a ton of) money on supplements, research and tests that help me figure things out a little more.

What is one thing that you wish someone would have told you when you began your low milk supply journey?

About the Facebook group! Also, happy mum, happy baby, and that your worth is not measured in ounces.

Is there any support from people other than medical providers (e.g. lactation consultants, family, friends, peers) that you wish you had gotten during your low supply journey?

I wish my midwife and lactation consultant had been more supportive. I felt they both lacked experience with low supply mums and tongue ties. This failed me.

What is one thing that you would like all medical and lactation professionals to know about chronic low milk supply?

It exists! It requires help, acknowledgment and guidance.

In one sentence, why does low milk supply matter to you?

It made me feel anxious and like a failure but at the same time it also made me question myself internally and work on a few of my inner demons. I’ll get there!

What is one thing about your low milk supply experience that makes you proud?

The hours I put into pumping. Knowing the extra pounds I gained and pumping I did were all because I wanted the best for my little one.